Galactic Fist of Legend: Volume 2 Read online

  "You... You're bluffing. That would kill you, too," said Samantha. He had to be kidding. Who would go so far to stop an argument?

  "Try me," said Scott. He waved the grenade up and down. "I have hit points."

  Samantha's eyes widened slightly then narrowed once more. The bastard was implying that he could simply shrug off a grenade blast from this range. It was impossible to know whether he was lying or not, but if she considered what happened earlier that day it might be true.

  "What sort of device is that?" asked Kitty.

  Scott glanced at the fluffy cat then said, "A negotiation tool. The one who has it in their hand gets to make others negotiate."

  "I see," she said simply. The cat then rrowled once then muttered, "Saved his life and he pulls something like this."

  "No kidding," said Samantha.

  The bounty hunter's eyes never left the grenade, at first. However, slowly both she and Kitty looked to each other. Samantha said, "You saved his life, too?"

  "Yes, and this is how he repays—" began the cat.

  "Cut the crap. You both saved me, and I saved both of you at least once," snapped Scott. He eyed one and then the other, before he shook the grenade once more. "We should be best fucking friends and shit, but you two assholes are fighting like a couple of screaming children."

  Neither spoke for a moment. The realization that each of them had saved Scott, or been saved by Scott, was quite profound.

  It was Kitty who spoke first. "I do apologize. I was hurt, and angry, but it was unkind of me to draw attention to your whorishness."

  Samantha started to apologize as well, but then stared at the cat. "You little..."

  Scott shook the grenade at Samantha then glared at the cat. "Stop calling her that. She's not a whore."

  Kitty sighed. "Very well. Despite your outward appearance, I do apologize for thinking that you are a whore."

  "That's really the best apology that I'm going to get out of you, isn't it?" asked Samantha with a snort.

  The cat lashed her tail back and forth then flicked her ears. There was no need to answer that question.

  Scott rubbed the bridge of his nose then shook his head. "Look. Let's start over."

  "Agreed," said Kitty in an amiable manner.

  Samantha snorted then crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine."

  Scott introduced them to each other properly. He then explained how he had met both of them. They chatted freely for quite some time after that. The trio had not become friends by a long shot, but eventually Scott did disarm the hand grenade. It was a start toward mutual understanding, and a potential life lesson. Love can build a bridge. A hand grenade can build a shaky alliance between two angry females.

  Tension, the build-up of stress on an object that causes it to be stretched, was a hell of a thing. A rubber band might be stretched to the point that it would snap. In so doing, it will whip backwards and potentially lash at the one who snapped it. People, in many ways, were like rubber bands.

  "I can't believe this," muttered Samantha as the trio stood around one of the clothing counters. "I've never been insulted like this in my life."

  Kitty lashed her tail, but kept her own silent council. The hair on the back of her neck rose slightly, and her ears perked briefly before flattening back.

  "Can we stop fighting, please," said Scott. "I don't even see the point of it."

  Both of the females in the room glanced at him. Cat or human, it did not matter. Their expressions and body language told Scott that he was in a dangerous position.

  "Don't give me that disgusted woman look. The moment you met, you just started fighting like two angry drunk chicks at a bar," said Scott. "There's enough shit going down that this isn't going to work for me."

  Samantha snorted at him. "Work for you? I'm the one who was insulted!"

  "Yes, work for me. I can easily drop you two off somewhere else, and you angry jackasses can get on with your lives," said Scott in a slow, deliberate, manner. Before either of them could speak, he spoke again with a bit more heat in his voice. "In less than one week, I'm going to have to go into another life or death battle where the odds are stacked against me in every way possible. If you two can't get along, then I'll have to do this kind of crap alone, again."

  Kitty's ears rose up slightly, but then dropped down once more. She did not say anything, but her expression became one of consideration.

  "And?" asked Samantha. "I deal with stuff like that all of the time."

  Scott stared at her briefly. "Yes, you do." He leaned in toward her then asked, "Would you want to get tossed butt naked into a place like the ones you visit, and then have to run for your life without any chance of fighting back properly?"

  She glared hotly at him for a moment, but then her eyes widened. Slowly they softened. "That wasn't a threat, right?"

  "No. It was day one for me," said Scott. "I had never fired a real gun, and had been in maybe one fist fight in my life."

  He looked at Samantha, and then over to Kitty. "The situation I am in, it started with me running barefoot across asphalt long after my feet tore open and started to bleed. No armor, no gun. Only my persistent desire not to be eaten alive kept me going."

  Scott took a breath then released it. "Look. I'm not going to play a game of, 'who had it worse'. I came to the conclusion that I need help if I am going to survive this interdimensional death game."

  Kitty nodded. "I understand."

  Samantha acknowledged the situation as well. She then said, "This is still new to me. I apologize, though I still don't know what I did to piss off the fur ball."

  The fur ball's tail lashed back and forth briefly. "I could smell you all over him. It annoyed me."

  "Are you serious?" asked Scott. "That's what this was all about?"

  A soft meow was Kitty's only response. Samantha, however, laughed loudly after a moment. "You have got to be kidding."

  Scott rolled his eyes then reached out his hand toward the cat. Reluctantly, Kitty leaned forward and sniffed at his fingers. "I don't know why it pissed you off to think that I had been with Samantha like that, but it didn't happen. We celebrated becoming partners by eating spaghetti and drinking wine. We fell asleep next to each other in a drunken heap, but nothing else happened."

  Kitty looked away then artfully curled her tail around her furry little body. "I see."

  A quiet moment passed between the three of them before Scott spoke again. "Anyway, in less than a week I'll have to deal with another long-term mission. It could be a day; it could be a year. Either way, once it starts it does not stop until it is complete."

  He raised one hand to stop either of the ladies from speaking. "Until then, I and whoever actually wishes to go with me, will need to prepare."

  Kitty rrowled softly then said, "Can you tell me more about these matters? I am not entirely certain of what is going on, here."

  Scott nodded to her then launched into an explanation of the situation. Kitty asked several questions throughout the explanation process. Samantha snuck in a few as well, since she had thought of a few things. Eventually, the story was told and everyone was as up-to-speed as they were going to be at the moment. Only by going through the process of moving around the multiverse, and taking on missions, would they learn more.

  After his explanation, Scott turned to Kitty. "Now that you know about Samantha and I, what about you?"

  "Me?" asked the cat with a curious tone in her voice. "Is there something about me?"

  The evasive nature of the cat was not lost on Scott. However, he ignored her question in favor of asking a more important one. "How did you run that red robed guy off?"

  Kitty laughed softly. "Well, it is a long story."

  "Tell me, anyway?" asked Scott.

  She swished her tail once then tilted her head. "Very well, if you do insist..."

  "I do," said Scott.

  "There is a requirement, however," said Kitty.

  "A requirement?" asked Scott. "What do I have to
do?"

  Her pupils narrowed slightly then she purred out the words, "You'll have to pet me while I speak of my past. The short version of it at any rate."

  Samantha rolled her eyes, but said nothing. Scott merely shrugged then opened his arms.

  Kitty wasted no time in rushing over to him. However, instead of leaping into his arms, she stretched out on her back and batted at the air. "You may begin at any time."

  Scott quirked an eyebrow upward, but then went ahead with his part of the deal. He started to pet the furry little thing's chest. Much like any cat, she squirmed a little then batted at his hand.

  "M-meow... Harder," said Kitty. Scott complied with her request and then another for him to pet her belly.

  Kitty began to giggle and squirm after a moment. Samantha saw what was going on then rolled her eyes. "I've seen some weird adult entertainment in my time, but this..."

  "What?" asked Scott, surprised by her words, "What's adult about this?"

  "Now twist them a little," said the cat, her breaths coming in little gasps. Before Scott could respond she also breathed out a heavy, "And call me a good Kitty."

  "Wha—?" asked Scott, but before he could finish his monosyllabic question he realized what this must be like for Kitty. "Oh, that's just wrong," he said after snatching his hand away.

  "Wrong?" asked Kitty, a curious tone in her voice. "You were kissing them earlier, and making strange vibrations with your lips and tongue."

  Scott stepped back, a look of utter shock on his face. "Oh god, I was! That was..." He turned toward Samantha quickly and said, "It wasn't!"

  She shook her head at him. "Don't have to convince me of anything, you pervert."

  Kitty rrowled at him then placed a paw near her mouth. Her eyes wide and innocent, she asked, "What of your sweet words to me... Aren't you my boo? My boo-boo?"

  Scott slapped his palm over his face then hung his head in shame. "What the hell, man."

  A soft yodeling laugh caught his attention. Kitty rolled over then look back at him over one shoulder. Her tail fluffed upward and hung over her back in a perfect arch. "Haven't I been a good Kitty?"

  He groaned loudly, but the girls laughed at his plight. "Look," he said. "I used to do stuff like that with the cat that I had growing up. I mean, everyone with a cat or dog does stuff like that. Heck, we did that sort of thing with anything fuzzy that held still long enough."

  "Like what?" asked Kitty with a tilt of her head.

  "You know, pat their furry bottoms, or blow raspberries on their stomachs. Cuddle with them at night. Stuff like that," said Scott, "There's nothing perverted about it."

  Kitty huffed at him. "So, what you're saying is that I'm not your first?"

  "Wha—" began Scott once more.

  The cat hopped up then swished her tail while lifting her nose into the air. "To think that I would grant license to twist my nipples to such a brazenly oversexed gadabout."

  "This is not happening," said Scott. He shook his head then sighed, "Zombies, a sexually ambiguous catfish jumping around in a Mario level, and a Samus Aran knock-off? Sure. But this did not just happen."

  "A what knock-off, now?" asked Samantha, her eyes lost focus for a moment as those words rattled around inside her head.

  "Never mind," said Scott, "Not important."

  "Right. Sure," she said, her eyes focusing properly once more.

  A feminine cough caught Scott's attention before he could say anything else. Kitty refused to look at him, but her tail lashed from side-to-side. "So, what were their names?"

  "Whose names?" asked Scott.

  "Your whores, of course. The ones whom you petted before me," she inquired in a crisp and imperious manner.

  A tired sigh escaped Scott's lips. "Seriously?"

  Kitty made a displeased huffing noise then tried to make her nose go even higher into the air. Seeing her acting like that caused him to make a decision. Scott reached out and patted her on the lower back.

  "What are you doing?" she asked curiously. Her tail curled around his arm.

  "I'm petting the prettiest kitty in the room." said Scott.

  "Do you think that sweet words will save you from my ire?" asked Kitty.

  "Yes," said Scott, simply. Kitty rrowled dangerously, but said nothing else.

  Samantha asked Scott, "Are you really doing that?"

  He shrugged at her. "She's probably a really nice cat. Besides, petting this side is better than the oth—" but stopped mid-sentence as something felt off about his current activity.

  Scott continued to pat what he had been patting, but instead of a cat's furry bottom he now felt something pliant yet strong. There was also a light slapping sound involved. He looked down then blinked.

  Kitty's tail was still curled around his arm, but little else remained the same. She looked back at him over her entirely too human shoulders, "Did I do something bad?"

  Scott snatched his hand away from her overly human, and entirely bouncy, posterior. "The hell?"

  The catgirl, now more girl than cat, placed a finger to her lip. "Oh, did I neglect to mention a tiny little detail about myself?"

  "Seriously, what the hell?" asked Samantha. "First you were a cat, and now you're a naked woman with a tail."

  Kitty rolled over gracefully, revealing in the process that the fur that covered her body seemed to exist solely to accentuate certain positives rather than to keep her warm. Also, it was missing in certain places where it would have made sense for it to have existed. "I am no mere woman."

  Scott took in the sight of a dream woman that so many anime enthusiasts the world over would have killed to meet. "Shit. No way."

  "Hmm?" asked Kitty softly. "Does my appearance startle you?"

  He nodded. However, his reasoning had little to do with her having a female form. In some ways, he expected that something like that might happen from the moment that she started talking. No, his surprise was due to a different reason altogether.

  Kitty was a near perfect palette swap for a certain catgirl found in a popular fighting game franchise. One that featured an overly endowed succubus and monsters battling other monsters. The personality of the cat did not really seem to match the catgirl from that game, at least not entirely, but if she had been a real person she would have looked a lot like the girl whom he saw now.

  "Scott, are you alright?" asked Kitty, her concern a bit more obvious now that she had human facial features. She leaned forward, eyes wide. "I didn't hurt you somehow, did I?"

  "No..." he shook his head slowly. His eyes, however, traveled up and down her body. "It's just uncanny."

  "What is?" asked Kitty. "If my current form hurts you in some way, I can simply change back. I have not absorbed enough moonlight to return to this form again, for a while, but..."

  Scott coughed once then shook his head. "No, you're fine. You just reminded me of someone. That's all."

  Much like Samantha looked a great deal like Samus Aran of Metroid fame, Kitty looked a great deal like a live-action version of the character Felicia from Dark Stalkers. Their personalities were only vaguely similar to the original game characters, and they each were clearly their own person. However, the similarity was jarring.

  With every breath that Scott now took, he could feel more and more certain of something that he suspected for quite some time. The game that he played was not only designed to mimic human pop-culture, it was populated by straight-up parodies of it.

  He suspected it when he first met Samantha. Imperial Garden lent further credence to the idea when a guy named Chaine who looked a great deal like a more muscular live-action version of Link from The Legend of Zelda popped up. Now this happened. If there was any doubt about the parody nature of this reality before, he was certain of it now. Not only were the world-settings patterned off of pop-culture from Earth, even the people seemed to be such as well.

  More to the point, situations frequently occurred that allowed him to run into several people who seemed to be life imitating art. In
truth, he should legitimately have a hard time even accidentally running across one of them. The missions, the places where they occur, the items, and even the people; it was all crazy.

  Scott stopped thinking about the oddness of his new life for a moment then looked into the eyes of the concerned catgirl before him. "Say... What are your thoughts on nuns and popstars?"

  She blinked at him then drew back a little. "Well, that is certainly a strange line of questioning."

  "Humor me?" he asked her.

  Kitty nodded slightly, and her nostrils flared a little. "As far as nuns, I was raised by a cloister of them when I was younger. My family wanted to keep me pure, away from foolish things and dangerous ideas."

  "I see. Was there a particular nun who spent the most time with you?" asked Scott.

  "This— it's a little personal, isn't it?" she asked him softly.

  "Yeah. I suppose it is," he admitted.

  Samantha saw the strange atmosphere between them and asked, "Do you know her, somehow?"

  "Nah. Like I said, she reminds me of someone," he said.

  Scott waved off another round of questions then smiled. "Don't worry, I was just a little shocked."

  "Well, that makes sense. We just saw a cat turn into a naked woman with fur shaped like a natural bikini," said Samantha.

  He nodded to her then looked at Kitty. There was a lot to ask, a lot to say or do. Why was that red robed guy terrified of her? If she really was supposed to be a Felicia parody then her abilities probably were not enough to induce that sort of reaction.

  Could she have beaten the guy in a fight, in that machine? Maybe. He would have had a decent capacity to fight either way, but he fled the moment that the cat appeared.

  No, it was obvious that there was more here, something underlying the situation. Katherine Vi Kittania was not Felicia, she was someone with a similar appearance and possibly a similar backstory. However, she was also her own person. Coaxing her into actually giving a straight answer might be difficult, but it was also the best way to see exactly what they were working with at the moment.

  "So, it's alright if I'm like this?" asked Kitty. She gestured at herself. "I know humans don't really like Shadowhunters in general." She then began to speak in a rapid-fire manner. "They think Cait Sith like my people are vicious and cause bad luck. Well, we do cause bad luck for our enemies, but—"